It’s Advent time. And with the addition of our now 22-month-old, we are thinking about new traditions. If we’re to be honest, we are those parents who let the church teach our oldest two about Christmas while we overworked ourselves. I was always busy planning massive Christmas events for mega-churches. So while the girls did have some fun times, we could have used a lot more family time surrounding the holidays. And we could have done a much better job talking about and preparing for the birth of Christ at home.

I also didn’t take very good care of myself in those days. I remember visiting with a pastor I worked with a few months after resigning from full-time ministry. He asked how I was doing and I said, “I went to the nail salon for the first time in three years!” He looked at me with a mix of shock but I could also detect some sorrow. He knew how hard I worked but I never showed how little I did for myself. Probably the worst part is that my self-neglect wasn’t out of necessity either. I chose it. Whatever it was in me that needed to be needed so badly (call it what it is: my codependency) and was driving my performance-based identity just didn’t want me time.

Talk about messed-up priorities.

I’ll never forget asking Rimmel how we should spend one particular afternoon together a few years after leaving vocational ministry. He said, “Taking a nap by the pool.” and I thought, “People actually do that?”

I am older and wiser now. So no excuses.

I’ve been thinking about the various things I would do this December to remember the birth of Jesus and somehow the privilege (and necessity) of rest comes to mind. So while we will develop an Advent tradition for our second-time-around family, I’ll develop an Advent of my own.

One of these days we will break down the scene of the first communion, but for the purposes of this blog post, I will just tell you this: I’ve never been in a church that has taken communion according to scripture. Communion is to be a time of gratitude and celebration for the reality of our new man in Christ. It was never supposed to be an accounting of our sins since the last time we took communion. The church created a ceremony of condemnation rather than the celebration of gratitude for new life it should be.

My Advent will be something like communion. As I am slowing down to rest, I will reflect on the One who is my ultimate rest. I will fan the flame of gratitude in my heart that because He lives, I can face not only tomorrow but anything and I will overcome. I will call to mind that all of my tomorrow’s are in His hand and He is able to guard and protect whatever I entrust to Him (1 Tim. 1:12).

The first thing I will entrust to Him is me. He is my oxygen and I have to have my own oxygen mask on before I can help anyone else.

Here are some ideas for a self-care Advent:

• Spend my quiet time on the front porch with candles, a blanket, and a cup of coffee.

• Read my magazines when they come in (also to be done on the porch) instead of tossing them in a pile.

• Actually use my giant soaking tub and bath tray with its book and wine holder that one of my besties gave me because she knew I needed it.

• Decorate for Christmas (because design is not only my trade but my hobby too!) but slow it down with Christmas hymns playing and Rimmel’s homemade eggnog. We always seem to rush through it like it’s some big chore.

• Swap out the wine at bath time with the eggnog (spiked of course) and swap the book for the magazines.

• Take a brisk jog through the neighborhood at night when the Christmas lights are on.

• Find a new cookie recipe, bake them with my favorite organic flour and maple sugar (no refined sugars) in the afternoon, and enjoy them hot out of the oven while Charlie naps, Hallmark Channel on, with my Jim’s Organic, decaf dark roast coffee. (I don’t get paid to promote these items. These are my favorite, feel-good baking/coffee companies.)

• Take the therapist’s advice and set the boundaries around Rimmel, myself, and Charlie so the trauma and grief of the last year can start melting away and becoming a faint memory.

• Refuse to feel guilty about setting those boundaries. Maybe even have a little celebration after doing it! I have a FANTASTIC roast chicken recipe for that!

• And a girl’s night out. At the wine bar. In Scottsdale. Cuz we can.

I’m sure more ideas will come. I hope you’ll start your own December Self-Care Advent with Jesus. If there’s one thing I know about Him, He loves it when you rest in Him.

And be sure to check out part two of my two-part series, Women Can Do All The Things on the Podcast! I break down the purpose of a woman from the greatest Hebrew teacher I know!! Trust me… you didn’t learn this in church!

---

LISTEN

---

WATCH

Can women do everything men can do? Of course they can. It's an age-old debate amongst theologians and it's popping up again as a trending topic. Let's put the debate to rest. The truth is, it's a moot point and this podcast episode will show you why. We will break down the most controversial scriptures in the Bible's original language so you can see for yourself how God planned for women to have a greater impact than the church has ever given us. You are going to LOVE this conversation that includes in-depth word studies from THE authority on Biblical language, Chaim Benotorah!

Photo By: https://unsplash.com/@janromero

I don’t normally post recipes, although cooking is a big part of my life. It’s one of my favorite things to do actually. It’s funny that over the years people have made big assumptions that because I am career and business focused I’m not a homemaker or cook. And truth be told I wasn’t until my girls came along. Rachel Ray and Food Network taught me how to cook while I was a stay-at-home mom and I’ve loved it ever since. As the girls got older our pallet just continued to expand and we are now true foodies. Maybe even food snobs. We spend a lot of time talking about good food and trying new recipes. And our oldest two, now adults, are quite the cooks themselves.

My collection of holiday recipes has had the biggest impact on our family traditions, especially Thanksgiving. The girls expect my grandmother’s sweet potatoes, my mom’s homemade yeast rolls, and my lemon-parsley gravy. And my homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast. We eat them while we watch the Macy’s Day Parade. Maybe this will be the year I finally blog our greatest holiday hits.

Over the last several years we’ve worked hard to get processed foods out of our recipes. We traded name-brand flour for organic flour from Sunrise Four Mill. Their flour is much easier on the gut than processed flour. And the biggest change has been trading white and brown sugar for Nova Maple Sugar. You will be shocked at how little flavor difference there is. Our recipes don’t taste like maple at all. Recipes with processed sugar are way too sweet for me now and just taste a bit off.

If you don’t have maple sugar sitting around or don’t want to spring for it (it’s a bit expensive for sure) just use white flour but use 1/2 a cup instead of 1 cup. In most recipes, a 1-to-1 substitution is sufficient but I wanted to put the sweetness in these cookies a bit over the top.

Enjoy! And let me know what you think!

Salted Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 Cup (2 sticks) Unsalted Butter, softened

1 Cup Packed dark brown sugar

1 Cup Maple sugar

2 large Eggs

2 teaspoons Vanilla extract

1 ¼ Cup All Purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon Baking soda

1 teaspoon (1/2 for dough, and 1/2 to sprinkle on top)

1 teaspoon fine sea salt

3 Cups Instant Oats

1 Cup dark chocolate chips

Directions

Preheat oven to 325°F.

1. Cream butter, brown sugar and maple sugar in mixer on medium speed until smooth, about 3 minutes. Beat in one egg at a time until combined. Add vanilla.

2. In a separate mixing bowl, whisk flour, baking soda and ½ tsp of fine sea salt and then add to butter and egg mixture and mix until combined.

3. Fold in oats and chocolate chips into entire mix with a wooden spoon until combined.

4. Drop dough by rounded tablespoons onto parchment-lined baking sheet two inches apart. Sprinkle the last of the sea salt with a pinch onto the top of each cookie. Bake for about 12-15 minutes. Allow to cool for 5 minutes before transferring to a cooling rack.