Did you know that the most pervasive gospel taught in America is anti-Christ doctrine? True story. According to 2 John 1:7, any doctrine that denies Jesus came in the flesh is anti-Christ doctrine. This doesn’t mean it is pro the anti-christ that is to come. It means it denies Christ as a man.

"For many deceivers have gone out into the world who do not confess Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh.
This is a deceiver and an antichrist."
2 John 1:7

Most of us have read this and assumed it means those who deny Jesus ever came at all are anti-Christ deceivers. But that’s not what this verse is saying. It is a lie to say Jesus never came to Earth at all, but it’s not enough to say Jesus simply came to earth in human form. The key to avoiding anti-Christ doctrine is acknowledging that Jesus left His God-form in Heaven.

“He who, while he was in the form of God, did not esteem this as a prize, that he was the equal of God, But he stripped
himself and took the form of a Servant and was in the form of the children of men, and was found in fashion as a man.”
Philippians 2:6-7

Jesus didn't consider it necessary to be equal to God while on earth. What does that mean? Let’s look at some Greek definitions:

• The word stripped means to make empty, to abase, neutralize, he laid aside equality with and the form of God and took the form of man (Strong’s 2758).

• Form doesn’t simply mean a human body. It means a form (outward expression) that embodies essential (inner) substance so that the form is in complete harmony with the inner essence (Strong’s 3444).

• Prize means to claim for oneself eagerly (726).

In order for Jesus to have emptied Himself and taken on human form, His inner human form had to be in harmony with His outer human form. Said this way—Jesus was God, but He didn’t have God’s essential inner substance while on earth. He made no effort to take it with Him to earth; He didn’t consider it necessary to accomplish His miracles and mission on Earth.

Jesus came to earth as a human and was filled with the Holy Spirit to show us what a human filled with the Holy Spirit is capable of. Jesus was trying to show us how a human could experience Kingdom living right here on earth.

THIS. IS. HUGE.

Why? Because if you believe Jesus was able to do everything He did because He still had His inner God essence on earth, you have NO BASIS for believing you can do the things Jesus did, or even greater things than He did (John 14:12). You are not God. I am not God. If it takes being God to perform the miracles Jesus performed then we have no hope of ever doing them ourselves.

Jesus didn’t tell us to ask Him to heal people. He said, “You heal them.” Jesus didn’t say, “Ask Me to move your mountain.” He said, “Tell your mountain to move.” Over and over again Jesus said He did what He did as the Son of Man and that is why we can do the same.

We were given dominion over what happens on earth (Genesis 1:26). This is why Jesus had to come as a man—only man had dominion on earth. This is also why Jesus said, after His resurrection, “All power in Heaven and Earth has been given to me” (Matthew 28:18). Jesus defeated death and the curse, taking back the power that man had given up. He was the only human in history who held power in BOTH Heaven and Earth.

And then He gave us the authority to use His authority. We have the keys of the Kingdom realm. Whatever we bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven (Matthew 18:18). The decision we have to make is whether or not we will loose God’s will on earth or our own will. God’s will isn’t automatic on earth and He won’t violate our free will. The world would look nothing like it does today if God had all the control. God gave us the same autonomy He has. He only has control to the degree we give it to Him.

So where does this leave us? It leaves us with the responsibility of doing the greater things Jesus said we would do. We have authority (dominion) just because we are here and we are human. But what keeps us using our dominion to loose on Earth what God has already approved in Heaven? The Providential God doctrine has convinced us that Jesus didn’t come in human flesh and that God is in ultimate control of every outcome. It has caused us to stop seeking the miraculous and live by fatalism. If God is in ultimate control and pulling all the strings, you wouldn’t need faith and your authority would be meaningless. This is why healing crusades and miracles are prevalent throughout other countries but we don’t see them in America. We are convinced God is the ultimate decision-maker and in doing so we have abdicated our dominion.

On the podcast this week we begin a new series that will help you get over that thing you haven’t been able to overcome yet. Whatever habit, addiction, fear, or limiting belief is keeping you stuck can be unstuck when we understand how Jesus was able to accomplish so much and how to use His authority to do the same!

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So many Believers are asking: "Why can't I get free??? I'm saved, I'm a Believer, but this habit, addiction, depression, etc. keeps haunting me!" We come to Jesus and receive salvation and yet, most Believers don't look any different than non-Believers when it comes to cycles of self-destruction.

In this new series, we will break it down and find the path to freedom. And we will start by taking a look at common behaviors and beliefs that drive our inability to find freedom.

Ref: "Grace: The Power to Change" by Dr. Jim Richards, Dr. James B. Richards, Chaim Bentorah, Hebrew Word Study

It’s Advent time. And with the addition of our now 22-month-old, we are thinking about new traditions. If we’re to be honest, we are those parents who let the church teach our oldest two about Christmas while we overworked ourselves. I was always busy planning massive Christmas events for mega-churches. So while the girls did have some fun times, we could have used a lot more family time surrounding the holidays. And we could have done a much better job talking about and preparing for the birth of Christ at home.

I also didn’t take very good care of myself in those days. I remember visiting with a pastor I worked with a few months after resigning from full-time ministry. He asked how I was doing and I said, “I went to the nail salon for the first time in three years!” He looked at me with a mix of shock but I could also detect some sorrow. He knew how hard I worked but I never showed how little I did for myself. Probably the worst part is that my self-neglect wasn’t out of necessity either. I chose it. Whatever it was in me that needed to be needed so badly (call it what it is: my codependency) and was driving my performance-based identity just didn’t want me time.

Talk about messed-up priorities.

I’ll never forget asking Rimmel how we should spend one particular afternoon together a few years after leaving vocational ministry. He said, “Taking a nap by the pool.” and I thought, “People actually do that?”

I am older and wiser now. So no excuses.

I’ve been thinking about the various things I would do this December to remember the birth of Jesus and somehow the privilege (and necessity) of rest comes to mind. So while we will develop an Advent tradition for our second-time-around family, I’ll develop an Advent of my own.

One of these days we will break down the scene of the first communion, but for the purposes of this blog post, I will just tell you this: I’ve never been in a church that has taken communion according to scripture. Communion is to be a time of gratitude and celebration for the reality of our new man in Christ. It was never supposed to be an accounting of our sins since the last time we took communion. The church created a ceremony of condemnation rather than the celebration of gratitude for new life it should be.

My Advent will be something like communion. As I am slowing down to rest, I will reflect on the One who is my ultimate rest. I will fan the flame of gratitude in my heart that because He lives, I can face not only tomorrow but anything and I will overcome. I will call to mind that all of my tomorrow’s are in His hand and He is able to guard and protect whatever I entrust to Him (1 Tim. 1:12).

The first thing I will entrust to Him is me. He is my oxygen and I have to have my own oxygen mask on before I can help anyone else.

Here are some ideas for a self-care Advent:

• Spend my quiet time on the front porch with candles, a blanket, and a cup of coffee.

• Read my magazines when they come in (also to be done on the porch) instead of tossing them in a pile.

• Actually use my giant soaking tub and bath tray with its book and wine holder that one of my besties gave me because she knew I needed it.

• Decorate for Christmas (because design is not only my trade but my hobby too!) but slow it down with Christmas hymns playing and Rimmel’s homemade eggnog. We always seem to rush through it like it’s some big chore.

• Swap out the wine at bath time with the eggnog (spiked of course) and swap the book for the magazines.

• Take a brisk jog through the neighborhood at night when the Christmas lights are on.

• Find a new cookie recipe, bake them with my favorite organic flour and maple sugar (no refined sugars) in the afternoon, and enjoy them hot out of the oven while Charlie naps, Hallmark Channel on, with my Jim’s Organic, decaf dark roast coffee. (I don’t get paid to promote these items. These are my favorite, feel-good baking/coffee companies.)

• Take the therapist’s advice and set the boundaries around Rimmel, myself, and Charlie so the trauma and grief of the last year can start melting away and becoming a faint memory.

• Refuse to feel guilty about setting those boundaries. Maybe even have a little celebration after doing it! I have a FANTASTIC roast chicken recipe for that!

• And a girl’s night out. At the wine bar. In Scottsdale. Cuz we can.

I’m sure more ideas will come. I hope you’ll start your own December Self-Care Advent with Jesus. If there’s one thing I know about Him, He loves it when you rest in Him.

And be sure to check out part two of my two-part series, Women Can Do All The Things on the Podcast! I break down the purpose of a woman from the greatest Hebrew teacher I know!! Trust me… you didn’t learn this in church!

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Can women do everything men can do? Of course they can. It's an age-old debate amongst theologians and it's popping up again as a trending topic. Let's put the debate to rest. The truth is, it's a moot point and this podcast episode will show you why. We will break down the most controversial scriptures in the Bible's original language so you can see for yourself how God planned for women to have a greater impact than the church has ever given us. You are going to LOVE this conversation that includes in-depth word studies from THE authority on Biblical language, Chaim Benotorah!

Photo By: https://unsplash.com/@janromero

What we believe about God determines how well we function under pressure. And really, the root of all emotional stability starts from this same place. Who we believe God is and what we believe He is willing to do for us will determine our next move when we feel backed into a corner.

There is a very interesting exchange between Jesus and a blind man in the book of Mark:

“And they came to Jericho: and as he went out of Jericho with his disciples and a great number of people, blind Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, sat by the highway side begging.

And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out, and say, Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me.

And many charged him that he should hold his peace: but he cried the more a great deal, Thou Son of David, have mercy on me.

And Jesus stood still, and commanded him to be called. And they call the blind man, saying unto him, Be of good comfort, rise; he calleth thee.

And he, casting away his garment, rose, and came to Jesus.

And Jesus answered and said unto him, What wilt thou that I should do unto thee? The blind man said unto him, Lord, that I might receive my sight.

And Jesus said unto him, Go thy way; thy faith hath made thee whole. And immediately he received his sight, and followed Jesus in the way.” Mark 10:46-52

We can be assured Jesus knew the man was blind. And yet Jesus still asks him, “What wilt thou that I should do unto thee?” In other words, what are you willing for me to do for you? Belief in God’s ability is rarely a problem for the Believer. The problem is we are not sure what He is willing to do for us.

And that begs the question: if it is impossible to please God without faith, but we don’t know what God is willing to do for us in our given situation, then how can we pray a prayer of faith for the outcome?

The answer is, we can’t.

The only way to pray a prayer of faith is to be absolutely certain what God’s preferred outcome is.

Which begs the next question: how can you always know God’s preferred outcome for your situation? Join me for this podcast episode where we learn how to become certain of God’s character, intentions, and will toward us. Once you know His desired outcome for your problem you will have to decide if you are willing for God to do it for you. If you know His will, and you are willing to agree with Heaven, you can pray the prayer of faith and experience miraculous results!

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In my quiet time yesterday, I put on a worship song. If I’m honest, worship music that I can bare to listen to is hard to come by these days. So much of our Christian music tends to put our focus on guilt, shame, and inability (the old man) instead of the new man that is already alive in us. I have found that if I continue to reuminate about my failures I forget about my authority.

But that’s a whole other blog post. ;)

A particular line in one song stood out to me. It said, “My anchor holds within the veil.” It comes from this verse in Hebrews: “This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil.” Hebrews 6:19 (NKJV)

Every time I think of hope I think of this scripture: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”

When you put the two verses together they seem to contradict each other. Is hope an anchor or does it make your heart sick? And hope in what? Just hope for the sake of hoping?

God never wanted us to live in the hope deferred condition. He wants us to live with desires fulfilled. The key is putting your hope in the right thing. The answer to what we must put our hope in is found in the verses that precede Hebrews 6:19.

“Men swear by someone greater than themselves, and their oath serves as a confirmation to end all argument. So when God wanted to make the unchanging nature of His purpose very clear to the heirs of the promise, He guaranteed it with an oath. Thus by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be strongly encouraged.” Hebrews 6:16-18

There are two immutable things to put your hope in:

1. God doesn’t lie.

2. He guaranteed your inheritance of all the resources of the Kingdom of Heaven and sealed it with an oath by the sacrifice of Jesus.

I’m feelin’ like that is a pretty great place to anchor yourself.

Keep renewing your mind in everything Jesus died to give you. I say this all the time because I do it all the time. When I’m overwhelmed, frustrated, scared, sick, in grief, lack, or pain I recount what is already mine; what has already been done for me.

Here’s my list straight outta scripture:

·       I have been given all things that pertain to life and godliness. Everything I need to complete my mission and fill my purpose is already here.

·       Every promise God ever made to anyone is yes and amen for me because I am in Jesus.

·       All things can work together for a victorious outcome if I will allow the Kingdom of Heaven to be my only reality.

·       I can always be the head. I don’t have to be the tail.

·       I can always be above. I don’t have to be beneath.

·       God is always FOR me. He is NEVER against me.

·       I am saved, healed, delivered, prospered, protected, anointed, set apart, holy, and righteous.

·       This isn’t God testing me. He tested Jesus for me.

·       Jesus won the victory and gave me the keys to the same authority over death and decay that He has.

Once you’ve renewed your mind to these realities your heart will begin to anchor itself in the right thing and you will begin to see desires fulfilled.

But if you keep hoping in “maybe God will help me” or “God can do whatever He wants whenever He wants so it’s up to Him what happens to me now” you’ll never have the faith to see what you’re hoping for through to fruition. God exercised His free will to give you authority, dominion, and the right to choose whether to partner with Him for your outcome or partner with chance.

In and of itself, hope has no power to anchor you.

Hope for the sake of hoping is not an anchor for the soul. Hope in the finished work of Jesus is an anchor for the soul.

Hoping with fingers crossed that God will do something will make your heart sick with fear of the unknown, longing, and desperation. But hope in the knowledge that the victory for what you’re facing has already been loosed for you in Heaven will anchor you. It will cause you to be immovable and unwavering about the outcome.

In a word, anchored.

And it’s the one who is anchored, immovable, and unwavering that is able to receive what they need from God.

“But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.” James 1:6-7 (NIV)

There is no doubt things have changed drastically in the last 20+ years, but I also see some things remain the same, especially when it comes to child-rearing. Parenting and family is something I rarely write about, if ever. I think I’ve always avoided it because I wonder how you really know when you’ve succeeded and can claim to be an expert. What is the marker of success in raising kids? Christians would say it’s when you’ve raised fully devoted followers of Christ.

Then there’s the AA song by Walker Hayes…

“I'm just tryna keep my daughters off the pole
And my sons out of jail
Tryna get to church so I don't go to hell
I'm just tryna keep my wife from figuring out
That I married up and she married way, way down
…Hey, I'm just tryna stay out of AA”

Maybe success is somewhere in between? I have no idea where the line is, but after raising a 22 and 21-year-old, and recently becoming the guardian of a 15-month-old, I feel confident I have some timeless advice to offer when it comes to parenting. After looking back at what worked with my oldest two and what is working now with Charlie, here are my best tips for creating parenting years you can actually enjoy!

#1 - SCHEDULE, SCHEDULE, SCHEDULE!!

When my oldest two were little, the biggest controversy in parenting was whether you should use attachment parenting or sleep training. Attachment parenting promoted co-sleeping at night. Sleep training was quite the opposite. It meant helping your child learn to put themselves to sleep by allowing them to naturally fall into a schedule. You wouldn’t believe (or maybe you would) the backlash I got for choosing sleep training and boundaries with my kids. My own parents didn’t understand what I was doing by not rocking the girls to sleep with a bottle. I would put them to bed while awake but sleepy and they would simply fall asleep… no crying, no fits, and no waking up in the middle of the night after just six weeks old.

True story.

And over the years I can attest that women who were hell-bent on co-sleeping (baby in bed with mom and dad) paid a steep price for it in their marriages and overall sanity. (I want to be sensitive and acknowledge here that some parents with children born with medical or special needs that require around-the-clock attention are in a completely different category here. Co-sleeping can happen out of the child’s specific needs in these situations.) I will never understand why parents don’t see the damage they do by rocking babies to sleep and then putting them down. The minute the child realizes they are alone they are filled with terror, almost like time-travel movies where people suddenly wake up and find themselves alone in a totally different century and country. This is what happens to infants when they are consistently rocked to sleep and wake up alone. They are absolutely petrified. And as they grow, the fear eventually becomes habit and reflex. And worse… they come to understand that screaming gets them whatever they want.

Parents… please. Use your heads here. I know you love rocking and holding and snuggling. Do yourself a favor and save it for when they are awake or sick or just the occasional nap time. Come to grips with the fact that you are making that about you, not them. Use smart systems that cause them to naturally fall into their own sleep schedule and you’ll keep hundreds of sleepless nights from ever happening. The peace in your home and the happy little smiles when they wake up in the morning will be a great reward. Most tantrums and poor behavior are completely avoided with proper, REM sleep habits. I recommend the classic On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam. You can read the stories of Babywise moms on Valerie Plowman’s blog, www.BabywiseMom.com. You’ll find sample schedules and testimonies by moms who are constantly told their babies are happy and their toddlers are well-behaved.

Scheduling has worked for three out of three for me so far and I have yet to find a real-life pediatrician or counselor who doesn’t agree.

#2 - TANTRUMS DON’T NEED HUGS, THEY NEED “NO”!

You’ll need Gary and Robert for the pre-toddler and toddler years as well to survive tantrums. Be sure to read book two, Parenting Your Five-to-Twelve-Month-Old Through the Baby Transitions, and book three, From Baby to Toddlerhood, Parenting Your Twelve to Eighteen Month Old. Read these BEFORE you get to these phases. It will literally give you an action plan for every situation your toddler throws at you.

Most of the time, redirecting a pre-toddler is all you need to do, but a child needs to also learn how to handle a firm “no” without throwing themselves on the floor and screaming. If you tell them they can’t have something they want (a hot plate, your important documents, your laptop) and they throw a fit so you give them something else they like you’ve just reinforced a lesson. You’ve taught them that screaming and tantrums produce rewards. You think you’ve told them no. You think they can handle no. But you’ve literally just taught them the opposite.

I fully expected all of my girls to handle being told no without throwing a tantrum. If they did, they are separated from my personal space. They are not allowed to stand in my space and wreck my peace. They are moved to a playpen or another room (wherever it is safe but separated from the family) so they learn one of the most important lessons in life: self-awareness and how to behave in public. If you want to raise teens and adults who don’t throw fits and scream when they don’t get what they want, don’t raise toddlers or kids who do.

I love what one counselor I read years ago wrote about the goal of raising kids (when I remember his name I’ll share the link ;)). He said

“the goal is to raise kids who are a blessing to people around them.”

I would say that’s a pretty good marker for parenting success. My girls aren’t perfect, and I wasn’t perfect, but people do truly enjoy their company. When I raised my first two I studied and read book after book so I went in prepared for the hard stuff. I recommend pretty much anything Dr. Kevin Leman wrote, especially Making Children Mind without Losing Yours and Have a New Kid By Friday.

#3 - SLUMBER PARTY DAYS ARE OVER… AND HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS

I should have listened to Dr. Dobson but I didn’t. He was telling us to ditch slumber parties back in the 80’s. I confess. I didn’t want my kids to be “those kids” that never got to have sleepovers. You know those kids. We all do. They were always treated as teh weird outcasts and rarely had any friends.

But I paid a price for allowing sleepovers and I you will too.

You would be SHOCKED at what your child will be exposed to and by whom at the average sleepover. I thought I was careful. Slumber parties and sleepovers were at the houses of fellow church staffers Rimmel and I were tight friends but the kids watched horror flicks at five and six years old! I should have stopped sleepovers then and there. You would think I would have learned.

But I didn’t.

Years later, a teacher’s daughter passed porn around her fifth-grade slumber party.

My heart was destroyed on both counts. I didn’t do the hard thing. I wasn’t brave enough. I cared more about them fitting in than preserving their innocence. I was the one people knew as Mama Bear over her babies and these gross influences STILL got by me.

NO MORE SLEEPOVERS. Not with family either. In the majority of cases, abusers are family members. Be brave. Be smart. Set the boundary now so your babies don’t pay a steep price later.

Their self-esteem and sense of belonging ultimately come from you anyway. And do you really want your child to fit in with the popular crowd in most schools? Your child needs better friends.

#4 - LEARN TO HEAR GOD IN YOUR HEART. IT WILL SAVE YOUR CHILD’S LIFE. LITERALLY.

Rimmel and I will never forget it. Madison wanted to use our 7-passenger Jeep Commander to fit all her friends for their night on the town. Something in me said no.

“Madison, it’s not because I don’t trust you with it. Something is telling me no in my heart. I’m sorry but you need to take your car tonight.”

Her car was carefully selected by Rimmel. It was a 2005 Mazda 6. Low to the ground with a wide-wheel base. He knew that in a serious accident this would be her best chance.

And he was right.

She was on the freeway going about 70 when she wanted to switch lanes. She didn’t see the black SUV in her blind spot at first. When she did see it, she over-corrected getting back into her lane and the car did three 360’s and a 180, landing her in the Y of an off-ramp facing the oncoming traffic. Five cars piled up behind her. She and her friends were scared for sure but completely unharmed and her car didn’t hit anyone or anything. Had they been in the SUV they would have rolled multiple times and God only knows whether they would have lived or lived with serious injuries.

God is always trying to help prevent danger in our lives. Most of us recall a moment before a tragedy that we had a knowing in our knower. I have had a knowing in my knower when it comes to my girls more times than I can count. Learning to lean into the still small voice of God will help you more than anything else in your parenting.

#5 - APOLOGIZE. OFTEN.

Here’s what I know: parents take too much credit when their children do the right thing and don’t take enough responsibility when they do the wrong thing. We get puffed up with pride when our kids are shining examples of the best parts of humanity but we deflect and make excuses when they embarrass us.

Don’t be that parent. Be the parent who can acknowledge when you mess up. And when you mess up, apologize to your kids. Verbally. Not with a shopping trip or fun outing.

Use your words.

Nothing sealed the bond between me and my girls more than when I messed up, acknowledged it, and asked them for forgiveness. It helped them understand how important it is to be honest in relationships. It helped them see adults are often in the wrong and shouldn’t be trusted just because they are older. It helped them be honest in their relationships and own their own mistakes.

But most importantly, it kept bitterness from growing between us.

When you mess up, your kids see it… often more easily than you do. They feel pain when you yell at them, talk about them negatively to others, or give them a punishment that doesn’t fit the crime. They respect you when you are humble enough to admit your shortcomings.

Parenting is hard. It’s scary, exhausting, and frustrating. It’s also incredible and fun. But you don’t have to fly by the seat of your pants doing it. Be a student. Read lots of books. Read them out loud with your spouse or buy audiobooks. I used to read parenting books out loud while Rimmel worked on a project of some kind. Do whatever it takes to get on the same page and do it early, long before the common problems are known to occur.

And remember to breathe. It sounds cliche but it might be the most important advice you will ever receive.