It’s Advent time. And with the addition of our now 22-month-old, we are thinking about new traditions. If we’re to be honest, we are those parents who let the church teach our oldest two about Christmas while we overworked ourselves. I was always busy planning massive Christmas events for mega-churches. So while the girls did have some fun times, we could have used a lot more family time surrounding the holidays. And we could have done a much better job talking about and preparing for the birth of Christ at home.

I also didn’t take very good care of myself in those days. I remember visiting with a pastor I worked with a few months after resigning from full-time ministry. He asked how I was doing and I said, “I went to the nail salon for the first time in three years!” He looked at me with a mix of shock but I could also detect some sorrow. He knew how hard I worked but I never showed how little I did for myself. Probably the worst part is that my self-neglect wasn’t out of necessity either. I chose it. Whatever it was in me that needed to be needed so badly (call it what it is: my codependency) and was driving my performance-based identity just didn’t want me time.

Talk about messed-up priorities.

I’ll never forget asking Rimmel how we should spend one particular afternoon together a few years after leaving vocational ministry. He said, “Taking a nap by the pool.” and I thought, “People actually do that?”

I am older and wiser now. So no excuses.

I’ve been thinking about the various things I would do this December to remember the birth of Jesus and somehow the privilege (and necessity) of rest comes to mind. So while we will develop an Advent tradition for our second-time-around family, I’ll develop an Advent of my own.

One of these days we will break down the scene of the first communion, but for the purposes of this blog post, I will just tell you this: I’ve never been in a church that has taken communion according to scripture. Communion is to be a time of gratitude and celebration for the reality of our new man in Christ. It was never supposed to be an accounting of our sins since the last time we took communion. The church created a ceremony of condemnation rather than the celebration of gratitude for new life it should be.

My Advent will be something like communion. As I am slowing down to rest, I will reflect on the One who is my ultimate rest. I will fan the flame of gratitude in my heart that because He lives, I can face not only tomorrow but anything and I will overcome. I will call to mind that all of my tomorrow’s are in His hand and He is able to guard and protect whatever I entrust to Him (1 Tim. 1:12).

The first thing I will entrust to Him is me. He is my oxygen and I have to have my own oxygen mask on before I can help anyone else.

Here are some ideas for a self-care Advent:

• Spend my quiet time on the front porch with candles, a blanket, and a cup of coffee.

• Read my magazines when they come in (also to be done on the porch) instead of tossing them in a pile.

• Actually use my giant soaking tub and bath tray with its book and wine holder that one of my besties gave me because she knew I needed it.

• Decorate for Christmas (because design is not only my trade but my hobby too!) but slow it down with Christmas hymns playing and Rimmel’s homemade eggnog. We always seem to rush through it like it’s some big chore.

• Swap out the wine at bath time with the eggnog (spiked of course) and swap the book for the magazines.

• Take a brisk jog through the neighborhood at night when the Christmas lights are on.

• Find a new cookie recipe, bake them with my favorite organic flour and maple sugar (no refined sugars) in the afternoon, and enjoy them hot out of the oven while Charlie naps, Hallmark Channel on, with my Jim’s Organic, decaf dark roast coffee. (I don’t get paid to promote these items. These are my favorite, feel-good baking/coffee companies.)

• Take the therapist’s advice and set the boundaries around Rimmel, myself, and Charlie so the trauma and grief of the last year can start melting away and becoming a faint memory.

• Refuse to feel guilty about setting those boundaries. Maybe even have a little celebration after doing it! I have a FANTASTIC roast chicken recipe for that!

• And a girl’s night out. At the wine bar. In Scottsdale. Cuz we can.

I’m sure more ideas will come. I hope you’ll start your own December Self-Care Advent with Jesus. If there’s one thing I know about Him, He loves it when you rest in Him.

And be sure to check out part two of my two-part series, Women Can Do All The Things on the Podcast! I break down the purpose of a woman from the greatest Hebrew teacher I know!! Trust me… you didn’t learn this in church!

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Can women do everything men can do? Of course they can. It's an age-old debate amongst theologians and it's popping up again as a trending topic. Let's put the debate to rest. The truth is, it's a moot point and this podcast episode will show you why. We will break down the most controversial scriptures in the Bible's original language so you can see for yourself how God planned for women to have a greater impact than the church has ever given us. You are going to LOVE this conversation that includes in-depth word studies from THE authority on Biblical language, Chaim Benotorah!

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