Here’s what I know: there are at least five BIG reasons the best-of-the-best get stuck. I introduced number one here and number two here. The third reason is this…

Reason #3: You rose higher than your sense of self would allow you to stay.

Let’s talk about your ego. ;) Your sense of self is your ego. We tend to think when someone has an ego they think too much of themselves but by definition the ego is your sense of self. Your sense of self can be under-inflated, over-inflated, or just right. 

Having an over-inflated ego is dangerous. But having an under-inflated ego isn’t healthy either. 

If your ego is too low you will experience a fractured sense of identity that will cause you to automatically opt out of getting what you want. 

Here’s how:

Your ego is driven by the belief in your heart. Whatever you believe on a heart level your ego will seek to make real to you, whatever the cost. It is like the thermostat of your life, making sure you don’t get hotter or colder than what you believe about yourself. Your ego is constantly working to make sure you do not rise higher or sink lower than your sense of self.

Let’s say that the promotion you worked for finally comes. We will give it a temperature of 70 degrees. Let’s also say your self-image is set at an internal 65 degrees. When you step up to lead in your new role, your ego will automatically turn the AC on to cool your life back down to 65 degrees.

It’s called self-sabotage. 

Jesus said something in Matthew 13:12 that on the surface makes God out to be a tyrant. Check this out:

“Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.”

For years I read this scripture wondering why if God is sovereign, why would He take away what I have if I already have so little? Seems harsh.

If we are not careful we will attribute scriptures in the Bible to God that were never about Him. This verse is one of those. Jesus never said it was God doing the giving and taking here. He was talking about the Law of Sowing and Reaping. When we sow any belief, good or bad, it will multiply. If we sow the belief that we are in lack of resources, finances, time or opportunities, we will find a way to destroy even the little resources, finances, time or opportunities we do have.

This is the ego doing its job–making sure we experience equilibrium in life. 

When we have a low sense of self and rise to positions and opportunities that threaten to raise our sense of self higher, we will tear it all down and then some. 

Have you noticed a pattern in your life where, just when the door is finally wide open for you to walk straight into your dream, some sort of disaster or distraction keeps you from going in? If that is your pattern, it's very likely you are self-sabotaging. 

It is tough to admit we are the problem.

Our ego tells us it must be God closing the door on us so we take the next shiny off-ramp that conveniently lowers the barrier of entry so we don’t have to face our low sense of self. 

This is a very destructive off-ramp to take. It is the Blaming God off-ramp, Blaming Him for closing doors when in reality, He put the ball on the tee and all we had to do was swing and knock it out of the park. 

When we are on the Blaming God off-ramp we don’t see the ball is teed up in our favor because our thermostat won’t allow us to see anything beyond our limiting belief about ourselves.

Whenever we blame God He is forced to leave us to our own devices. When left to our own devices, The Law of Sowing and Reaping will work in lock step with our self-sabotage causing us to lose everything, including what we had before we started the journey!

Getting what we want out of life requires that our internal thermostat is set to believe we are up for the challenge, made for it, that it's our time and we already have everything we need for success! If you’re struggling with your sense of self, it's time to review exactly what Jesus died to give you and what is true about your new nature, not your old nature. It’s time to get real about your limitations and ask yourself some questions:

“What do I need to believe about myself in order to recognize my opportunity and take my land?”

“What do I need to believe about God in order to recognize my opportunity and take my land?”

Do some soul-searching and be sure to shoot me an email at christy@christynarsi.com and let me know how it’s going!!

Love y’all so much!

Here’s what I know: there are at least five BIG reasons the best-of-the-best get stuck. I introduced the first one here. This second reason is closely related and it’s this:

#2. You are blaming other people and circumstances, refusing to take responsibility.

The hardest part about taking responsibility is that the places we get stuck are not always due to our own action or inaction. It is often others who make poor decisions, won’t make up their minds, change their minds, or fail to follow through on commitments that puts us in the place of stuck.

But taking responsibility means owning the fact that we are always “able to make a response". Staying the place of blame and waiting for others to act will get you nowhere. Deciding to make the response of moving forward can take you anywhere!

Jesus told a story called The Parable of the Wheat and the Tares: 

“The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field; but while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went his way. But when the grain had sprouted and produced a crop, then the tares also appeared. 

So the servants of the owner came and said to him, ‘Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have tares?’ 

He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The servants said to him, ‘Do you want us then to go and gather them up?’ 

But he said, ‘No, lest while you gather up the tares you also uproot the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest, and at the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, “First gather together the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them, but gather the wheat into my barn.” ’ ” Matthew 13:24-30

While the Bible is consistent and never contradicts itself, there are a number of paradoxes in the Bible and this is one of them. A paradox is defined as, “a statement that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth”. On the surface, two Bible verses or stories may seem to contradict each other but when you take a deeper look they reveal a profound truth. 

We know that it is challenging to move forward in life without reflecting on how people in our past have sown bad seed in our lives. But here’s the paradox: if all you do is worry about the bad seed and never stop trying to pull it up, you can’t move forward. 

We are citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven. The Kingdom of Heaven is the realm opposite the world’s system. It is the realm where God is King and everything He has is available to us. This is why the Bible says we are in the world but not of it (John 17:14). We are not subject to the laws of the world’s system if we use our freewill to be subject to the laws of the Kingdom of Heaven. 

This is why Jesus starts so many of His parables with, “The Kingdom of Heaven is like…”. He isn’t necessarily talking about the afterlife. In fact, He was rarely talking about the afterlife. He was trying to teach us what living in the Kingdom realm could look like for us. 

When it comes to healing the tares in our lives (bad seed sown by others) we would do better to tend to the good seed in our lives. We should put more focus and emphasis on watering the truth about the Kingdom we live in rather than the truth the world lives in.

The man in the parable sowed good seed in his heart by planting the truth of the Word of God. He watered it with his faith and trusted that the seed he planted would produce after its own kind. He probably planted the truth that God gives seed to the sower and rain in due season, and so God did. 

But when days and days of scorching hot sun tried to plant doubt and fear in his mind, the tares, he kept watering the truth. He kept thinking about rain, seeing rain in his mind, checking for signs of rain knowing that it was coming because God had promised it. He knew that regardless of what the world’s system was telling him, the Word of the Lord still stands!

And so it did. 

The rain came and the wheat grew. And the tares grew too. But eventually the bad seed did what bad seed always does–it revealed itself for what it was. The man didn’t keep fussing over the fact that someone had intentionally planted evil in his garden and tried to set him up for failure. He knew that if all he did was keep pulling up the past, his harvest would be uprooted as well and never have the chance to come to fruition. 

So what is the point? The point is that we need to discern when it's time to acknowledge that, yes someone tried to infiltrate our progress for the purpose of destroying our vision. But instead of watering that anger and frustration, we must put our sights back on the vision. If we let the vision grow and stop fussing about the past (or present) attacks, we will come to a dead-end. Stuck. Never getting what we wanted.

Love y’all so much!

“If I could choose just one super power, I would choose calming down.” @Eden_Eats

It was just a few months after my best friend passed away and I became guardian of her one-year-old daughter. I’m pretty sure I was still in total shock. Shock is a fairly normal response when you’ve been married for 25 years, you’ve already raised your kids when suddenly you are parents of a toddler again.

It’s like whiplash. 

My youngest biological daughter, 20 years old at the time, told my husband and I we needed to watch Life As We Know It with Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel. It’s where two single adults become caregivers to an orphaned girl when their mutual best friends die in an accident.

Watching the movie was a beyond-ridiculous experience. Almost every scene had us staring at the TV with an “I can’t believe this is our life” look on our faces while we went from laughing to crying and back to laughing again.

We chose to be there for babygirl and we would do it all over again.* But I had no idea what was about to happen to my heart. After about three months of shock, navigating the trauma like a zombie, anxiety like I’ve never experienced before set in. Anxiety attacks that would last up to 18 hours. A dysphoric disorder. Post-adoption depression (akin to postpartum depression) and chronic fatigue syndrome to boot. 

I immediately sought counseling, therapy and my medical doctor. Through genetic testing we discovered I have a genetic mutation called MTHFR (seriously…could they find a better acronym?). This mutation, turns out, was the explanation behind my struggle with depression that spanned my then 44 years of life. 

Not that I didn’t experience actual traumatic events during my lifetime. The amount of negative high-emotional-impact life events I’ve experienced is (ironically) too depressing to list. Nonetheless, it was surreal to learn that when life got hard for me it was exponentially more difficult to come out of depression, fear and anxiety than it is for many people. 

All of this to say, when it comes to depression and anxiety, I know this one. I have had to do all the work of digging up the past, processing grief, fear and loss, figuring out how to not live my life waiting for the other shoe to drop.

During the best of times I maintained a low-level detachment that kept me from enjoying the good moments without reaching for a dopamine hit of some kind. But the worst times were nothing short of a living nightmare. 

Therapy, doctors, counselors, friends, worship and medication all help while we’re trying to sort everything out. Despite what religion has tried to sell us, the cure to a mental health crisis isn’t doing more for God. More prayer, more Bible study, upping your financial giving and volunteer hours are not going to help when the underlying issue hasn’t been dealt with. When we do these things in a desperate attempt to get God to move on our behalf it’s called striving. It’s not thriving. 

Here’s what I’ve found to be key to moving through powerful negative emotions: reducing the pressure of having to do all the things and entering into God’s rest. 

As I studied one of the most quoted scriptures about not worrying but praying about everything, I saw a step-by-step process to help calm the fight-or-flight response. These eight steps may not work the first time you try them. Maybe not even the second time. But if you will make this your first response to moments of anxiety, you will eventually loosen the grip it has on you as you exchange fear for peace and rest.

Sign up below to receive two on-demand video teachings and a printable card of the 8-Steps to Calm Anxiety and Get Your Spark Back. This is going to help you!!

*After 14-months of being her parents, and having to navigate the legal system and court-appointed attorneys, we were forced into a position to find her a forever-home. While we are heartbroken, she is THRIVING and that is what matters the most.

In my quiet time yesterday, I put on a worship song. If I’m honest, worship music that I can bare to listen to is hard to come by these days. So much of our Christian music tends to put our focus on guilt, shame, and inability (the old man) instead of the new man that is already alive in us. I have found that if I continue to reuminate about my failures I forget about my authority.

But that’s a whole other blog post. ;)

A particular line in one song stood out to me. It said, “My anchor holds within the veil.” It comes from this verse in Hebrews: “This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil.” Hebrews 6:19 (NKJV)

Every time I think of hope I think of this scripture: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”

When you put the two verses together they seem to contradict each other. Is hope an anchor or does it make your heart sick? And hope in what? Just hope for the sake of hoping?

God never wanted us to live in the hope deferred condition. He wants us to live with desires fulfilled. The key is putting your hope in the right thing. The answer to what we must put our hope in is found in the verses that precede Hebrews 6:19.

“Men swear by someone greater than themselves, and their oath serves as a confirmation to end all argument. So when God wanted to make the unchanging nature of His purpose very clear to the heirs of the promise, He guaranteed it with an oath. Thus by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be strongly encouraged.” Hebrews 6:16-18

There are two immutable things to put your hope in:

1. God doesn’t lie.

2. He guaranteed your inheritance of all the resources of the Kingdom of Heaven and sealed it with an oath by the sacrifice of Jesus.

I’m feelin’ like that is a pretty great place to anchor yourself.

Keep renewing your mind in everything Jesus died to give you. I say this all the time because I do it all the time. When I’m overwhelmed, frustrated, scared, sick, in grief, lack, or pain I recount what is already mine; what has already been done for me.

Here’s my list straight outta scripture:

·       I have been given all things that pertain to life and godliness. Everything I need to complete my mission and fill my purpose is already here.

·       Every promise God ever made to anyone is yes and amen for me because I am in Jesus.

·       All things can work together for a victorious outcome if I will allow the Kingdom of Heaven to be my only reality.

·       I can always be the head. I don’t have to be the tail.

·       I can always be above. I don’t have to be beneath.

·       God is always FOR me. He is NEVER against me.

·       I am saved, healed, delivered, prospered, protected, anointed, set apart, holy, and righteous.

·       This isn’t God testing me. He tested Jesus for me.

·       Jesus won the victory and gave me the keys to the same authority over death and decay that He has.

Once you’ve renewed your mind to these realities your heart will begin to anchor itself in the right thing and you will begin to see desires fulfilled.

But if you keep hoping in “maybe God will help me” or “God can do whatever He wants whenever He wants so it’s up to Him what happens to me now” you’ll never have the faith to see what you’re hoping for through to fruition. God exercised His free will to give you authority, dominion, and the right to choose whether to partner with Him for your outcome or partner with chance.

In and of itself, hope has no power to anchor you.

Hope for the sake of hoping is not an anchor for the soul. Hope in the finished work of Jesus is an anchor for the soul.

Hoping with fingers crossed that God will do something will make your heart sick with fear of the unknown, longing, and desperation. But hope in the knowledge that the victory for what you’re facing has already been loosed for you in Heaven will anchor you. It will cause you to be immovable and unwavering about the outcome.

In a word, anchored.

And it’s the one who is anchored, immovable, and unwavering that is able to receive what they need from God.

“But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.” James 1:6-7 (NIV)

“And God gave Solomon wisdom and understanding exceeding much, and largeness of heart, even as the sand that is on the sea shore.”
1 Kings 4:29 (KJV)

“Then thou shalt see, and flow together, and thine heart shall fear, and be enlarged; because the abundance of the sea shall be converted unto thee, the forces of the Gentiles shall come unto thee.” Isaiah 60:5 (KVJ)

Enlarged: רָחַב | rachab: to be widened, enlarged, relieved, and expanded with joy (BDB)

“Do not sorrow, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10b (NKJV)

I recently shared with my private Facebook group, Getting Life to Work, that I am in the research and study phase for a future book to be called Profile(d). The book will break down the misconceptions in character profiles of some major players in the Bible and reveal how, through our misunderstanding of their lives, God Himself has been mischaracterized or profiled throughout the centuries as a result.

One of the key Bible characters this book will cover is King Solomon. We have this great misconception that God miraculously made King Solomon the wisest man who ever lived. Like, “Poof Solomon! You get to be wise but everyone else who asks for wisdom has to learn the hard way.”

Praise God that’s not quite the case.

When Solomon asked God for wisdom, God responded by showing King Solomon he already possessed the very thing he desired most… a foundation for the Spirit of Wisdom to be the guiding factor in his life.

“Behold, I have done according to thy words: lo, I have given thee a wise and an understanding heart; so that there was none like thee before thee, neither after thee shall any arise like unto thee.” 1 Kings 3:12 (KJV)

The Hebrew word for “behold” is “hinneh”. It means look, after all, lo, here, or indeed. It’s the same word God used in Job when He acknowledged that Job had already handed his own life over to the scrutiny of the enemy. When God says behold He is saying, “Take a look! This is already so.”

At the young age of twelve, King Solomon had already been trained in wisdom by his father, King David, whom he saw make both good and bad decisions. Solomon’s love for God and wisdom to rule is the reason he was chosen to be king. He already had the foundation required to rule justly, he simply needed to set his intention to continually grow in wisdom.

Because to him who has, even more will be given. (Matthew 25:29)

And even Jesus had to grow in wisdom and stature.

Because Solomon feared and loved God, he had the capacity to receive more and more supernatural wisdom. To fear God is to fear doing anything that would break the heart of God. In addition to having the capacity to contain wisdom and understanding, Solomon had the ability to have the boundaries of his heart enlarged. The word enlarged not only means to have the thickness of the walls of the heart enlarged but to have a heart that is specifically enlarged by joy.

How does joy enlarge the heart? When the joy of the Lord is your strength, your heart expands in its capacity to walk in faith-righteousness.

Nehemiah, in an attempt to encourage God’s chosen people after they failed to follow God and their city came to ruins as a result, said to them, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10 (NIV)

I’ve met many a Christian who tried to muster up enough joy in difficult circumstances in order to gain more strength. That’s hard to do when life has knocked the wind out of you. Especially if you believe God was the one who orchestrated your difficult circumstances. Even worse are the times we come to realize we were our own undoing.

We are told to just sing worship songs until we feel the joy of the Lord. We convince ourselves if we’ll just get excited about God we will have all the strength we need.

But that’s not what Nehemiah was getting at. Nehemiah is telling the people to allow themselves to call to mind the limitless joy and sheer pleasure God takes in them to receive strength. It is the knowledge of this pleasure apart from performance God takes in you that has the power to strengthen you from the inside out, if you do not allow your own heart to condemn you (1 John 3:20), creating boundaries and barriers of false beliefs you can never break through.

Both King Solomon and Nehemiah had incredibly high leadership lids. Everything they put their hands to came to fruition and the people they led flourished in their work for God! Rather than look at their lack (lack of years of experience, lack of resources, etc.) they looked to a God who took exceedingly GREAT JOY in them. They meditated on the joy of the Lord rather than on their shortcomings.

SO!!! Let the knowledge that God takes GREAT PLEASURE in you strengthen you for whatever you’re facing today! Mediate on that pleasure until it becomes real inside you and all self-condemnation melts away. THEN you’ll be able to receive the wisdom of King Solomon and the leadership ability of Nehemiah.