Here’s something we don’t talk about enough: what it means to have a broken heart. And it's a huge disservice to not talk about it because it is one of the primary reasons Jesus came to us.

“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners…” (Isaiah 61:1)

The fifth reason you’re not getting what you want in life could be this:

5. You have a fractured sense of identity (a broken heart).

We talked about reasons number one, two, three and four. Today we look at number five.

I didn’t understand the inner workings of the heart until I read my theology professor’s book, Moving Your Invisible Boundaries. It was the first time anyone explained the function of the heart and how the heart forms the limiting beliefs that control our lives. 

In my last post I talked about the information the heart holds and disseminates from us in the form of energy. The heart is the seat of our identity. It is where we hold our beliefs about who we are, about who God is and about the world around us. When we experience a fractured sense of identity we have a broken heart. 

In its most basic form, a fractured sense of identity is created when there is tension or incongruency in one’s sense of self that creates inner stress. It is from inner stress that depression and anxiety, addictive behaviors, and cognitive dissonance originate. More intense experiences of chronic inner tension can become more severe mental disorders such as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Our spirituality is impacted by mental distress and our mental distress impacts our spirituality. 

But what comes first–the chicken or the egg? 

Belief. Our beliefs come first. All of the beliefs about who we are, the sense of self we experience and the abiding emotions that ensue are formulated by what we believe about God, ourselves, and the Kingdom of Heaven. Even a hairline fracture in the heart can keep us from seeing and experiencing the reality of heaven on earth. 

Limiting beliefs trigger our Reticular Activating System (RAS) to do what it was made to do. Your RAS takes your belief and creates a filter for you that sifts through all of the data you take in and presents only the pieces that validate your beliefs. Whatever you believe about God, your RAS will find evidence to make it real to you. Whatever you believe about yourself, your RAS will find evidence to make it real to you. And the same thing is true about the Kingdom of Heaven.

In other words, you are never getting what you don’t believe to be true out of life. 

Said another way, you are always getting what you believe to be true out of life. 

The key to overcoming is to change what you believe about God, which will change what you believe about yourself, which will change how you use your keys to the kingdom to bring heaven to earth. 

There is so much to unpack here! Check out my best resources for changing the way you see God so you can get life to work and live a life that is worthy of being called life!

No Pain, No PAIN!

Profile(d): See Him As He Really Is

Getting Life to Work: The Names of God

And be sure to check out this week’s new episode on the podcast where I give you a quick process to discover your calling, purpose, vision…all the things!!

Love y’all so much!

I have always been a driver, renovator, and high-achiever. Until I wasn’t. In 2013 I experienced a nervous breakdown. This was after over a decade of being a disciple of Jesus, reading my Bible and journaling my prayers daily, giving over and above my tithe … all the things.

Until one day I could not function. I couldn't move. It was like I was trying to walk through mud up to my waste. It did not matter what I did, what book I read, what seminar I went to, or how much I sought deliverance. Nothing was moving. 

It’s been over 12 years since that awful time in my life. Hindsight can be 2020, but only if we take the time to reflect on what we’ve been through and tell ourselves the right stories about it.

Here’s what I know: there are five reasons the best of the best get stuck, have a nervous breakdown, a mid-life crisis, a dark night of the soul–whatever you want to call the big, ugly breakdown in your life. I thought we might take a few weeks to walk through each one.

One of five reasons you are not getting what you want is if you are blaming your pain on God.

#1 You are blaming God, refusing to take ownership of where you are at.

Most of us don’t realize we blame God for, well, everything. We call it God’s sovereignty; meaning God can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants. 

But here’s the truth: God can’t do whatever He wants whenever He wants.

God set a boundary for Himself. That boundary is man’s dominion over the earth. Take a look at all the pain and suffering around you. If God was in control of everything, would the world look anything like this?

It wouldn’t. God didn’t do this. We did this.

Am I saying all of our pain is our own fault? No. Some of it is. Some of it is the result of others making evil (or just plain stupid) decisions that had a direct impact on our well-being. 

Regardless of where we are at in life, we have to take responsibility and quit putting the blame on God. Responsibility means “able to respond”.

Job blamed God in order to justify himself. It wasn’t until Job repented of blaming God for allowing all the pain in his life that God was able to restore Job to double the incredible life he had before.

When we say God is allowing pain in our lives we are accusing
Him of sinning against us. 

How do I know this? It’s the system of justice God designed:

“Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.” James 4:17

“But if the watchman see the sword come, and blow not the trumpet, and the people be not warned; if the sword come, and take any person from among them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at the watchman's hand.” Ezekiel 33:6

According to God’s own system of justice, if He were to see pain coming in our lives’ and not warn us, or refuse to help when it is in His capacity and ability to do so, He would be sinning*.

Religion tells us God allows bad things to happen to good people (Job’s bad theology) because it’s God's way of making us better people. 

I would challenge you to say that to a victim of human trafficking. I would challenge you to say that to the family who lost 11 family members to a mudslide as a result of Hurricane Helene.

And yet this is the narrative of God we give the world in hopes they will believe dedicating their lives’ to Him as a worthwhile endeavor. We don’t present Him as the Good Shepherd who is always trying to prevent danger and problems in our lives.

“For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.” Psalm 91:11-12

Where is this God when we are suffering? He is waiting for us to stop blaming Him for the evil in the world so He can lift us out of the pain we are in and restore to us to a greater life than we’ve ever dreamed possible. 

“Rather, as it is written: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no heart has imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

Your rescue plan hasn’t come because you haven't even let it enter your mind yet that quite possibly God is not the one allowing this to happen to you. He won’t violate your belief so as long as you belief He’s left you to suffer for some grand purpose, He can’t rescue you.

I know this can be a hard pill to swallow. But I also know there are many of you reading this now who don’t understand it all just yet but something in your spirit is starting to shift.

The disciples, after questioning whether or not the resurrected Jesus had just walked along the road with Him asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?” (Luke 24:32).

Pay attention to your inner landscape. Pay attention to the movements in your heart right now. If something is being stirred up inside of you, the breakthrough you are desperate for might be just one belief about God away.

Let me assure you that the minute I understood God didn’t send my shipwreck or let me shipwreck myself just so He could rescue me, He immediately began to move like I’d never seen before.  The pain started rolling back; the years began to be restored. Physical, financial and emotional healing came quickly.

Life began to flourish and abundance came. I no longer had to live just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I no longer had to convince myself to surrender to someone who was always out to get me. 

I know without a doubt, if you will lean into this, have a teachable spirit and an open heart, you are going to get back on the racetrack you were born for.

Check out these podcasts that will walk you through what the Bible says about this so you can stop the struggle and start healing:

Episode 17 | Profile(d): See Him As He Really Is

Episode 18 | Profile(d): Jonah, A Whale of a Tale and the Real Reason We Run

Love y’all so much!