I have always been a driver, renovator, and high-achiever. Until I wasn’t. In 2013 I experienced a nervous breakdown. This was after over a decade of being a disciple of Jesus, reading my Bible and journaling my prayers daily, giving over and above my tithe … all the things.

Until one day I could not function. I couldn't move. It was like I was trying to walk through mud up to my waste. It did not matter what I did, what book I read, what seminar I went to, or how much I sought deliverance. Nothing was moving. 

It’s been over 12 years since that awful time in my life. Hindsight can be 2020, but only if we take the time to reflect on what we’ve been through and tell ourselves the right stories about it.

Here’s what I know: there are five reasons the best of the best get stuck, have a nervous breakdown, a mid-life crisis, a dark night of the soul–whatever you want to call the big, ugly breakdown in your life. I thought we might take a few weeks to walk through each one.

One of five reasons you are not getting what you want is if you are blaming your pain on God.

#1 You are blaming God, refusing to take ownership of where you are at.

Most of us don’t realize we blame God for, well, everything. We call it God’s sovereignty; meaning God can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants. 

But here’s the truth: God can’t do whatever He wants whenever He wants.

God set a boundary for Himself. That boundary is man’s dominion over the earth. Take a look at all the pain and suffering around you. If God was in control of everything, would the world look anything like this?

It wouldn’t. God didn’t do this. We did this.

Am I saying all of our pain is our own fault? No. Some of it is. Some of it is the result of others making evil (or just plain stupid) decisions that had a direct impact on our well-being. 

Regardless of where we are at in life, we have to take responsibility and quit putting the blame on God. Responsibility means “able to respond”.

Job blamed God in order to justify himself. It wasn’t until Job repented of blaming God for allowing all the pain in his life that God was able to restore Job to double the incredible life he had before.

When we say God is allowing pain in our lives we are accusing Him of sinning against us. 

How do I know this? It’s the system of justice God designed:

“Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.” James 4:17

“But if the watchman see the sword come, and blow not the trumpet, and the people be not warned; if the sword come, and take any person from among them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at the watchman's hand.” Ezekiel 33:6

According to God’s own system of justice, if He were to see pain coming in our lives’ and not warn us, or refuse to help when it is in His capacity and ability to do so, He would be sinning*.

Religion tells us God allows bad things to happen to good people (Job’s bad theology) because it’s God's way of making us better people. 

I would challenge you to say that to a victim of human trafficking. I would challenge you to say that to the family who lost 11 family members to a mudslide as a result of Hurricane Helene.

And yet this is the narrative of God we give the world in hopes they will believe dedicating their lives’ to Him as a worthwhile endeavor. We don’t present Him as the Good Shepherd who is always trying to prevent danger and problems in our lives.

“For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.” Psalm 91:11-12

Where is this God when we are suffering? He is waiting for us to stop blaming Him for the evil in the world so He can lift us out of the pain we are in and restore to us to a greater life than we’ve ever dreamed possible. 

“Rather, as it is written: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no heart has imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

Your rescue plan hasn’t come because you haven't even let it enter your mind yet that quite possibly God is not the one allowing this to happen to you. He won’t violate your belief so as long as you belief He’s left you to suffer for some grand purpose, He can’t rescue you.

I know this can be a hard pill to swallow. But I also know there are many of you reading this now who don’t understand it all just yet but something in your spirit is starting to shift.

The disciples, after questioning whether or not the resurrected Jesus had just walked along the road with Him asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?” (Luke 24:32).

Pay attention to your inner landscape. Pay attention to the movements in your heart right now. If something is being stirred up inside of you, the breakthrough you are desperate for might be just one belief about God away.

Let me assure you that the minute I understood God didn’t send my shipwreck or let me shipwreck myself just so He could rescue me, He immediately began to move like I’d never seen before.  The pain started rolling back; the years began to be restored. Physical, financial and emotional healing came quickly.

Life began to flourish and abundance came. I no longer had to live just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I no longer had to convince myself to surrender to someone who was always out to get me. 

I know without a doubt, if you will lean into this, have a teachable spirit and an open heart, you are going to get back on the racetrack you were born for.

Check out these podcasts that will walk you through what the Bible says about this so you can stop the struggle and start healing:

Episode 17 | Profile(d): See Him As He Really Is

Episode 18 | Profile(d): Jonah, A Whale of a Tale and the Real Reason We Run

Love y’all so much!

At a crossroads? Me too. In a world with nearly endless possibilities and paths to take it seems crossroads appear daily. Negative circumstances outside of our control can force us into decision-making time. We might see multiple opportunities to overcome our challenge but are torn as to which one to take.

Do I turn left or right? Do I get on or off? Do I go straight or take the detour? Do I take the quick-fix opportunity or a longer route with greater potential gain? Or should I hold out for a third option?

Can I have my cake and eat it too? Decision-making time. We all face it.

The question I find most helpful in times like these might surprise you. It’s not, “Is this God’s will for my life?” This question is disempowering right out of the gate because what we are really saying is, “If I do this, will God show up for me?” We express and reinforce our lack of belief in God and His character every time we ask this question.

Maybe a better question to ask is, “Will this opportunity bring peace or strain to other areas of my life that I value?”

The Bible says, “The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.” Proverbs 10:22.

“The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.” Proverbs 10:22.

The Hebrew word for rich is ‘ashar. It means to go straight on, advance, to lead on, to set right, righten, to pronounce happy, call blessed, to be advanced, be led on, to be made happy, be blessed.

The path to victory that God chooses for you won’t add sorrow (toil, pain, hurt, or hardship) to other areas of your life. You might want a higher-paying job but it requires 60 hours a week at the expense of your family and your health. But you need the money. So the temptation is to believe it is your only option instead of standing on the promise of Proverbs 10:22.

So maybe the second most important question you should ask is, “What else is possible?” If what looks like my only out is going to remove peace and add toil to other areas of my life that are valuable to me and a priority to God, what else is possible? As soon as you start asking yourself this, your mind will start mapping out other possibilities. Keep asking, keep searching, and keep knocking until you find the solution that fits God’s description of what He calls blessed. This is using your faith in His promise to gather evidence that supports God’s preferred outcome for you.

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV)

And trust the process. Give the solution time to come. When you let patience do its work you will find a solution that leaves you whole and complete in all areas and lacking nothing.

“But patience will have a complete work for itself that you would be perfected and complete, and that you would be lacking nothing.” James 1:4 (ABPE)

It will be worth the wait. He promised.